Through The Round Window
Take a look out of your window. What do you see?
The chances are that unless you are on holiday, you live on a ship or are currently slumming it in what the Americans call an “ArrVee” the view is exactly the same as the one you had yesterday. And the day before.
And unless you are about to complete a property transaction or do a moonlight flit from the landlord it will be the same again tomorrow.
I for one find all that a bit monotonous.
And I won’t accept the changing patterns of trees in the winter/spring/summer/autumn argument. The trees never move and for my money offer less distraction than a city-scape skyline. At least with a city you may get the chance to live opposite a hospital nurses’ changing room during a curtain closing drought.
So I have devised a cunning way to relieve the monotony. Let’s all share our views.
I propose that all windows be replaced with a big LCD screen backing onto a networked webcam.
Tomorrow I could be looking out of your lounge window and you could be looking out of mine. And noting that Mrs Miggins across the road has just painted her front door green.
Obviously certain outlooks will be of more interest than others. I’ve seen several windows that back onto the neighbours wall and others with fine vistas.
Which gives me the name. Let’s call this ‘Windows replaced by Vista’.
Although I may need to do some research to see if this infringes any patented trademarks first.
Perhaps we could use a system where we state the number of viewing options available. I have 7 windows in my house so I could call my place Windows 7. You see Windows 7 really is my idea.
The system could even be monetised with the most popular views commanding high viewing figures and attracting ad breaks.
And guess which curtain drought outlook would be the most popular?
There are a couple of drawbacks.
In winter you may switch to a nice sunny outlook only to have your Hawaiian shirt thoroughly dampened when you step out into the real world’s shivering rain.
And, being the twenty-first century all soothsayers will immediately rally around the old chestnut of energy usage. After all these screens would use more energy than a simple plate of glass.
But there is a response. Ask yourself how a lot of the heat escapes from a well insulated property – through the glazing. And with this system all windows will be bricked up and insulated.
I foresee that one day you will be able to say “That outlook is so much more improved”.
And that’s no bad thing.
However that potential trademark is also being considered.
Author: Vince Poynter
From the Ideas section of the vinceunlimited.co.uk website dated 10 Aug 2018
First published in Mar 2010
Windows Vista is the name of Microsoft’s computer operating software released in 2007
Windows 7 is the name of Microsoft’s computer operating software released in 2009
When Windows 7 was released Microsoft updated their ‘I’m a PC’ advertising campaign, which had attempted to counter the Apple ‘Get a Mac’ advertising campaign, using the tag line “I’m a PC and Windows 7 was my idea”
Microsoft’s Outlook, a personal information manager, incorporating email, was initially released in 1992 and has since had many improvements made up to it’s current version