Is there anyone who has not got an opinion on driving?
Well this is one to get you all going – unless you are in London at 5.30 p.m. on a weekday. Speed limits, don’t we all just hate them? Come on, admit it. If you like limits then you are beyond hope. Just go out and stand in the road now. Only you won’t get hurt because all the cars are going so slow nowadays because of the restrictions, humps and hopeless drivers who couldn’t drive a Scalextric car.
And it’s our own fault. Limits are only put there because the general imbeciles driving around today can’t control their vehicles or judge when it is safe. Speed does not kill – bad driving does. And the general driver, despite their own high opinion of their ability to match Schumacher, drives pretty poorly.
So to counter this threat to innocent passers by and other road users the authorities (i.e. our elected representatives) put up arbitrary tin plates suggesting a recommended maximum. Now that would be fine if that was all it was. Instead, our protectors (i.e. the police) do their best to catch people going a bit quick and then to fine and humiliate us.
Fines themselves are fine, one could say a fine deterrent. It’s the points system that gets me riled. A few misdemeanours over a matter of years can lead to diabolical insurance premiums and possible incarceration with all the attendant bottom stretching. With possible loss of employment, status and respect. Ask yourself – Is that really fair punishment for going too fast?
Sure, I’d agree that bad driving deserves all the bottom expansion in the world but bad driving is difficult to measure. And all this makes for an increasingly stale road system. And for people like me with four star in their veins it isn’t good enough. We need to fight back.
We should concentrate instead on bad driving and eliminate those poor habits. So, take a look at the few listed below and if it’s you – shame…
- Hogging the outer lane. Have you looked in the mirror lately? Move over you pussy. I wanna go past and you ain’t the police sunshine. Imbecile.
- Hogging the middle lane. See above. And stop worrying about filtering off the motorway. The junction is at least two miles away and its well signed. Nerd.
- Inappropriate speeding. I know, after all I said but 30 mph passing a school at 9 a.m. is much worse than 120 mph at night down an empty highway. Idiot.
- Using your hazards whilst stopped in town. There’s always another car stopped behind you so all the passing cars can only see one of your indicators. Looks like you are about to pull out! Wombat.
- Parking on the ‘other’ side of the road with your lights on. The headlight dipping system blinds every passing car. And as you are stationary you hardly need to see. But we do. Dipstick
Author: Vince Poynter
This is an extract from the vinceunlimited.co.uk/petrolhead.htm website Version 5.015 dated 4 Nov 2017
This article was originally published in the first version of the vinceunlimited website, Version 1.00 in Oct 2003
The image depicts a typical motorway scene and is not intended to be a comment on the vehicles involved. It was taken by the author in Feb 2016