Lane Discipline

I’m a fan of driving. Sure there are many reasons why I shouldn’t be. Take a peek at my opinion on driving habits if you need to see a few reasons why. But I am also an optimist, if things are bad they can be fixed.

All we need is the will and a bit of clever thinking. And that is a speciality of mine. I have worked out how we can reverse one of the worst habits of British motoring by changing some simple rules.

Why not let people who drive correctly, drive faster?

We all want to go quicker but need to do this responsibly. Here is the way.

Without changing the rules about only overtaking on the right, let us allow drivers to go quickest on the inside lane, then progressively slower in the outer lanes.

Sounds crazy? Well just think about it for a moment.

Imagine a three-lane motorway. When you are driving along with no other traffic (remember the seventies?) I propose that you should be able to charge along safely to your hearts content.

If you then come upon a slower vehicle ahead then you will need to move out a lane to pass. But you have to temper the speed a bit and go past carefully. If you again want to get going once past you will be encouraged to move back to lane 1 to be allowed to travel again at speed.

And when the traffic is so bad that all three lanes are needed then all the overtaking in lane 3 has to be so much slower, therefore safer. It is a self-restricting system. Slow when busy but with less restrictions when the roads empty.

And drivers will voluntarily move over to the left after overtaking. Simple. Like all great ideas.

Of course, the set limits would have to offer something if this is to be sold as a good system. If the government gets hold of this idea then some quango think tank will decide that on motorways the limits should be 70, 60 and 50 mph. Much easier to sell the idea to a sceptical public at 90, 70 and 60 mph.

Mind you it won’t stop the arsehole cruising along at 60 in the centre lane, clogging up the whole system. For that I propose a simpler system. That I shall be legally allowed to carry a firearm and shoot him.

(Note: Americans and Europeans will have to read this page in a mirror to get the idea)

Author: Vince Poynter
From the vinceunlimited.co.uk/ideas part of the web site Version 5.023 23 Nov 2017
Article first published in Version 1.00 in Oct 2003
The text is reproduced, unedited, as published in Oct 2003
The image depicts a typical British motorway scene and is used to illustrate lanes being used. There is no implication to suggest the vehicles are in the correct or incorrect lanes. The image was added in Version 5.023 23 Nov 2017

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Hollywood

Cellulite and Celluloid

I’m in two minds about this one. These pages are all about getting a gripe off my chest, without the use of a fine pair of tweezers and Hollywood must be a prime target.

There is much to dislike about the pumped up, pretentious American film industry.

The powerful network can easily create a dream but so often wrecks them.

The play it safe attitude of film commissioning stifles genuine new raw talent and makes it hard for newcomers to break in.

The industry’s hypocritical attitude to sex which rams it down your throat but ensures you never see it.

The obsession with mindless violence and the assumption that pain, maiming and killing have no subsequent consequences.

All these things are gross and frankly unnecessary in such a matured industry.

Yet, somehow, all the glitz, glamour and style makes me hold back from really winding in the knife.

Some of my best memories come from watching the spectacular stunts and settings that multi-million dollar budgets can achieve. And anything associated with Kristin Scott Thomas must be OK.

And then there is the British Film Industry.

Great ideas, talent and films but no balls when it comes to funding. So don’t go whinging when Mr. USA rewrites the great British stories in his own style and makes zillions from them.

So, I have to decide one way or another, whether Hollywood is destined for the landfill dump or the mantelpiece.

Let me put it this way. Deep down, anyone who writes harbours a deep wish to become part of the circus.

Case closed.

Author: Vince Poynter
From the vinceunlimited.co.uk/opinions part of the web site Version 5.020 17 Nov 2017
Article first published in Version 1.00 in Oct 2003.  It is reproduced here, unedited.
The image depicts the author in the process of creating an audition tape in May 1998. The show was a Channel 4 project entitled Trash Talk and the audition taped failed to do it’s job. The show now appears nowhere on the internet [It’s not the later NFL show]. Was it even made? Has it been removed from history? Did they pick the wrong presenter? You do the maths. The image was added in Version 5.020 17 Nov 2017

The Meaning Of Hi-Fi

This article is not about to describe my hi-fi to you. You’ll have to get to know me much better if you want to hear my set up.

No, this is a direct attack on all those manufacturers and suppliers out there who bandy about the term hi-fi when it clearly isn’t warranted.

Hi-fi, or to give it it’s full title, high fidelity, was popularly introduced in the seventies. The term may be older but it’s use became more widespread, probably to coincide with the style of denim Jeans at the time. The distinction allowed for the purity of sound extracted from the growing number of specialist separate components that outperformed the all in one music-centres of the time. Eight track anyone?

I know that the latest head-banging, superwoofered ghetto blaster can outperform these early attempts at music reproduction but that’s not the point. The term hi-fi is a moveable datum. As the general melee of equipment improves, the true high fidelity components are those that still rise above the masses producing crisp, clear sounds to die for.

And the number of lights, displays, bells and whistles don’t count either.

So, next time someone tries to flog you a ‘hi-fi’ product, at a price a teenager could afford, ask them how it compares to a top end CD transport coupled to a pair of dedicated amps and running through some major floor-standing speakers. Then get them to show you.

You might just get an idea of what my system sounds like.

Author: Vince Poynter
From the vinceunlimited.co.uk/opinions part of the web site Version 5.019 16 Nov 2017
Article first published in Version 1.00 in Oct 2003.  It is reproduced here, unedited except for minor changes for readability.
The image shows the author’s own Hi-Fi system as it stood in 2001.  It was added to the article in Version 5.019 on 16 Nov 2017

Gender PC

First things first. Let’s not confuse gender with sex. Heidi Klum doesn’t have gender appeal and I’ve never had gender in the back seat of a car. Nor Heidi Klum come to think of it.

However, I am against too much of this modern fetish with political correctness. Men and women are different. Live with it. In fact, celebrate it. We don’t want to end up in an andronomous society where you can’t tell your mother from the plumber.

I’m not a misogynist (look it up) and I’m not against lesbianism. In fact I think I might be a lesbian. I share all their ideals, I just don’t get to change in the same cubicle when I go swimming. And I have better hair.

I applaud equality. That is, I applaud fair equality, not the trumped up excuses used in positive discrimination. All women shortlists should only be reserved for surrogate breast feeding jobs. Not to select members of parliament. Even if they are all tits which people suck up to! – Couldn’t resist that one.

Men love the way women look so good. In all shapes and sizes. Keep those curves on view and appreciate it when we look at your thighs. You know that if you hide yourselves away you will end up putting up your own shelves. And it has taken men millions of years to learn how to read a map. Women won’t achieve it in their lifetime.

And as for the men. Stop being a bunch of wimps. Don’t be afraid to get down the gym and pump those pecs. And it’s not an insult to hold open a door or offer your seat. Stand up and be counted. Women will only be Kylie if you are prepared to be Russell Crowe.

As for me. I’m off down the gym, to pick up my map and drive over to Heidi’s.

Author: Vince Poynter
From the vinceunlimited.co.uk/opinions part of the web site Version 5.018 13 Nov 2017
Article first published in Version 1.00 in Oct 2003
The text is reproduced, unedited, as published in Oct 2003 and represented the author’s views at the time
The image shows the clear differences between a man and a woman.  It depicts the author and his wife sat astride a Can-Am Spyder three wheeled motorcycle as manufactured by Bombardier Recreational Products. It was taken on 25 Sep 2016 and added in Version 5.018 13 Nov 2017

Fuels

Oil be seeing you. Oilways

Do you consider yourself green?

I suppose the answer would be yes if you are either a resident of the planet Nerasis (sector 45AF.789 in the Zarciod Belt, turn right past Uranus and it’s only a block or two away) or a pedal cycling, anally retentive killjoy with a huge chip on your shoulder. Either way, you ain’t gonna like what I say.

Fossil fuels. Burn ’em.

I make no secret of the fact that I’m a turbo charged V8 with nitrous injection.

I overtake people on the pavement (that’s the sidewalk to all you Yanks) in the same way that I pass them on the road. Life is for living and we today are fortunate to have been blessed with the black stuff.

Oil. Fantastic product, all that energy easily stored and able to take us on adrenaline fuelled trips that crack cocaine would struggle to produce. I’m a petrol junkie.

Hold it old chap, I hear you politely say. What about the resource issue?

If we all go around mindlessly using these decomposed dinosaur reservoirs then there won’t be any left for the next generation. Stuff them! It doesn’t matter. If we didn’t have oil we would invent some other way of getting our automotive kicks and so will the next generation.

Let’s pass on something useful – The ability to have fun.

Just one reservation about oil. Why did someone invent Diesel, then think it might be a good idea to use it in cars? Beats me.

Author: Vince Poynter
From the vinceunlimited.co.uk web site Version 5.017 10 Nov 2017
Article first published in Version 1.00 in Oct 2003
The unedited content represents a view held at the time, long before the adoption of powerful electric or hybrid vehicles and modern, clean diesel engines
The image depicts a toy Shell classic petrol pump, circa 1970, taken in December 2002 and was added on 10 Nov 2017

Being European

Back in 2003 being a true European, as opposed to being within Europe, wasn’t the view of many British people, despite the European market, the European Economic Community, being created within the Treaty of Rome in 1957 and the establishment of the European Union under the Maastricht Treaty on 1st November 1993, of which Britain was a part.

Brexit, the popular term coined about the withdrawal of Britain from the European Union, was only voted for in a referendum on 23 June 2016. I have every intention of writing articles about this in the future so watch this space.
The following article was written in October 2003.

Being European

Why do so many residents of the UK fail to acknowledge that they are European? Take a look at any atlas (apart from those with the flexible borders produced by the Israelis) and the landmass of Britain is clearly in Europe. We are Europeans. End of discussion.

Of course those xenophobic Brits who refuse to acknowledge their position are really saying that they refuse to be ‘European’. Some sad misapprehension that they would be forced to eat horses in the manner that the French do, be good in bed like the Italians or strut around like they own the place like most Germans. And that just isn’t British.

My personal opinion is that having closer ties with your neighbours is a good thing. Less war, more trade and better pasta imports. As long as we don’t have to drive Czech cars. Why suffer passport and travel restrictions? We can save all that malarkey for the other world citizens nibbling at the borders.

Europe today is a small place and should be accessible to all Europeans, including us Brits. Furthermore, European union is the first step towards world union and ultimately peace for all mankind.

And the rule applies to other parts of the world too. Africa for all Africans. The Middle East for all nations – even the Israelis. And Australia for the kangaroos.

Mind you, if it comes down to a clear choice between speaking Esperanto or becoming the next state in the good old US of A then I’m a happy hamburger eater. I’ll even forgive them for not helping out in the Falklands. Or for charging us for their help in the Second World War. Or for accidentally shooting their allies everytime they open fire.

Just as long as the Yanks acknowledge that the word mum has a ‘u’ in it. Much like the word neighbour.

Author: Vince Poynter
From the vinceunlimited.co.uk/political.htm part of the web site Version 5.016 9 Nov 2017
Article first published in Version 1.00 in Oct 2003
The unedited content represents a view held at the time, long before the adoption of powerful electric or hybrid vehicles and modern, clean diesel engines
The image depicts a flexible border…Collie, taken by the author’s family around 1974.  It was added on 9 Nov 2017

 

Bad Driving Habits

Is there anyone who has not got an opinion on driving?

Well this is one to get you all going – unless you are in London at 5.30 p.m. on a weekday. Speed limits, don’t we all just hate them? Come on, admit it. If you like limits then you are beyond hope. Just go out and stand in the road now. Only you won’t get hurt because all the cars are going so slow nowadays because of the restrictions, humps and hopeless drivers who couldn’t drive a Scalextric car.

And it’s our own fault. Limits are only put there because the general imbeciles driving around today can’t control their vehicles or judge when it is safe. Speed does not kill – bad driving does. And the general driver, despite their own high opinion of their ability to match Schumacher, drives pretty poorly.

So to counter this threat to innocent passers by and other road users the authorities (i.e. our elected representatives) put up arbitrary tin plates suggesting a recommended maximum. Now that would be fine if that was all it was. Instead, our protectors (i.e. the police) do their best to catch people going a bit quick and then to fine and humiliate us.

Fines themselves are fine, one could say a fine deterrent. It’s the points system that gets me riled. A few misdemeanours over a matter of years can lead to diabolical insurance premiums and possible incarceration with all the attendant bottom stretching. With possible loss of employment, status and respect. Ask yourself – Is that really fair punishment for going too fast?

Sure, I’d agree that bad driving deserves all the bottom expansion in the world but bad driving is difficult to measure. And all this makes for an increasingly stale road system. And for people like me with four star in their veins it isn’t good enough. We need to fight back.

We should concentrate instead on bad driving and eliminate those poor habits. So, take a look at the few listed below and if it’s you – shame…

    1. Hogging the outer lane. Have you looked in the mirror lately? Move over you pussy. I wanna go past and you ain’t the police sunshine. Imbecile.
    2. Hogging the middle lane. See above. And stop worrying about filtering off the motorway. The junction is at least two miles away and its well signed. Nerd.
    3. Inappropriate speeding. I know, after all I said but 30 mph passing a school at 9 a.m. is much worse than 120 mph at night down an empty highway. Idiot.
    4. Using your hazards whilst stopped in town. There’s always another car stopped behind you so all the passing cars can only see one of your indicators. Looks like you are about to pull out! Wombat.
    5. Parking on the ‘other’ side of the road with your lights on. The headlight dipping system blinds every passing car. And as you are stationary you hardly need to see. But we do. Dipstick

Author: Vince Poynter
This is an extract from the vinceunlimited.co.uk/petrolhead.htm web site Version 5.015 dated 4 Nov 2017
This article was originally published in the first version of the vinceunlimited web site, Version 1.00 in Oct 2003
The image depicts a typical motorway scene and is not intended to be a comment on the vehicles involved. It was taken by the author in Feb 2016

The Millennium Dome

A tribute to the Greenwich blister, written in 2003

An enormous carbuncle or visionary monument? That is the question

Many say that the cash should have been spent on the NHS instead?  They questioned the extravagance of a structure built of a seemingly temporary design and only there for a year.  And no one can see where the £800m and counting went.  So why am I a supporter of this apparently whitest of elephants?

Let us consider some facts.  The Dome was built in the UK, not a third world country riddled with debt and plagued by civil war.  We are a first world power so shouldn’t we be able to afford a bit of luxury?  The money is better spent on this plaything for a few than on another weapon of mass destruction.

And I do not believe that one hospital or nurse has been cancelled because of the project.  I agree the National Health Service is currently under funded and would be happy to pay additional taxes if I could guarantee an efficient service but I do not confuse this issue with the Dome.  That is the job of the British Press.

As for the contents I am not a believer of criticism without seeing things first hand.  So I visited this monument in it’s heyday in early March 2000 and enjoyed the whole day.   The content was generally of an excellent nature and there was more to see than I could in the day’s visit.  In particular I noted that the Journey Zone was top draw stuff (Incidently, I could not find the actual top shelf stuff).

The only disappointment was the main show.  Set on too grand a scale with things happening everywhere and a pretentious story line too far up its own tent-pole to make any sense.

I predict that the Dome will eventually be fondly remembered. The media in this country is controlling how we perceive the image of this stunning structure and up to now the press has been slagging it off.  Its image is at a low point so the media-mongrels [deliberate misspelling] will soon decide it is time to re-launch it as a success story.

And as for the slogan ‘Only open for a year’.  It will still be up and running in some form in 20 years – Mark my words.

Think about the publicity that we could get for our country if we had all got behind it – I believe it is big enough.

Author: Vince Poynter
This is an extract from the vinceunlimited.co.uk/opinions.htm web site Version 5.013 dated 27 Oct 2017
This article was originally published in the first version of the vinceunlimited web site, Version 1.00 in Oct 2003
The image depicts the East London Thames skyline including The Millennium Dome and was taken by the author in August 2003. It was added in Version 5.013 on 27 Oct 2017

How’s my prediction going?  14 years and counting…

Computers October 2003

Click, whirr, wait… Tah-Dah! You have arrived at the vinceunlimited Computers page.

This is the version you would have seen had you visited here in October 2003, albeit without all the fancy HTML5 stuff all around the tops and edges.

So, welcome to the 2003 computer pages of vinceunlimited in the days of Pentium PCs and Windows 95/XP. Here you will find out all about my floppies, bits and ram.

There is a general computers section, one for hardware, one for software and one about the use of the web. It was all very up to date at the time.

Author: Vince Poynter
Version 5.009 19 Oct 2017

 


Computers

A section for the nerds – Details of my hard and soft ware

Computer set up on classic desk showing Packard Bell tower case, Taxan CRT monitor, Canon Bubblejet printer, twin speakers and joystickEarly Computer Setup circa 2003

Click here to go hard – Hard section – My computers, printer etc. Technical details so you can swoon with envy or laugh helplessly at the sheer out-datedness of it all. It was all cutting edge once, now it couldn’t cut mustard

Click here to go soft – Soft section – Programmes I use and abuse, for work and play. Well, the licenced ones anyway. Doesn’t include tips on reconfiguring Lara Croft in topless mode. Pity

You can work this one out yourself – Web section – No, not a home for arachnids. Details of this site. The software which I used and which design house I employed (you believe that?)


Hardware

The hard page of vinceunlimited – Computerspeak, I’m afraid

Welcome to the hard page, part of the computer section within vinceunlimited. Information provided for the purposes of cyberjerks and thieves.

Desktop system

Packard Bell Pulsar 23 tower case (taking up too much room on my desk) with Intel Pentium MMX233Mhz (slow now) running on 64Mb RAM (32Mb SDRAM plus 32Mb SIMM upgrade) and 2Mb standard video RAM boosted with an Orchid Righteous 3DII 12Mb ATI Rage II+ 3d acceleration card. Storage is a (used to be gigantic – but not any more) 4.3Gb hard drive (no room for those video files) and outside access is via a 56k modem through Freeserve (connecting at about 33k usually). I still run Microsoft Windows 95 (not 98, 98SE, 2000, ME or XP I hear you enquire) and display on my 17″ Taxan monitor (cost £500 new, now standard fare) with audio supplied through dual speakers and a Yamaha sub-woofer (booooom).

Laptop

A Novatech laptop opened and showing various opened windowsThe Novatech Soprano Laptop

A custom Novatech Soprano laptop (heavy for a portable, more of a movable) with super fast 3.07GHz Intel Pentium 4 running on 512Mb RAM. Storage is a (gigantic – for now) 60Gb hard drive and the world is accessed via the built in 56k modem through Freeserve (25-44k, why the difference?). I run Microsoft XP Professional and display on the built-in 64Mb 15″ TFT LCD. Audio is supplied by two small shrill insects inside somewhere that like to go bleep very loudly at times.

Printer

Canon Bubblejet (say no more).

Check out the system of the future


Software

The Soft Page of vinceunlimited – The underbelly of my computer

Welcome to the soft page, not that this page is softer than any of the others – flexiscreeens haven’t yet hit the streets – unless you know better.

As with the ‘hard’ page this is designed for all the nerds to discover what I like to use to ease me through the exciting world of computing, software wise.

Willy Gates has my vote as far as usable programmes go. His pricing policy is questionable, as is the constant redevelopment of ideas. I have no problem with him making trillions as his products have revolutionised the way we work together but he could be fairer to legitimate users.

And the policy of constantly re-inventing basic necessities (Yes, I’m talking Windows here) seems a touch greedy. No wonder so many turn to piracy. Why do the class leading products, with their international markets, sold in hundreds of thousands of units sell for the highest prices? Ship ’em out cheaper Billy Boy and we’ll all buy legitimately in their millions and so make you even richer. I know you could do with the extra cash.

Screenshot of laptop running multiple Windows in Windows XPWindows XP

The operating systems I use is good old Microsoft Windows 95 on my home desktop and XP on my work laptop. This conveniently hides the OS in the background and I rarely venture into white on black screens these days. The 450mB ramquirement and 10 minutes to start up are a pain.

The big M (no, not McDonalds) also do well on applications. I learnt spreadsheets on Lotus 123 and early on supported this application along with the other excellent programmes they produced, particularly Organiser. The Lotus look is generally superior to Microtosh but the mighty Gates stronghold is more and more eclipsing the user base. In all I don’t think this will be a problem as compatibility is paramount in the new technology of computing. Make it work, make it compatible – backwards and forwards and make it cheap. That’s all we ask for.

And improve email programmes too. I’ve not yet used one that isn’t total pants.

As for Apple Macintosh? What’s the point? I thought their skins were waterproof. On a more serious note though, congratulations must go to Apple for pushing the boundaries of technology design.

Now what about PC software. When will we see true user friendliness in GUI’s guys? And I don’t necessarily mean a virtual office layout with a point and click ‘photo facsimile’ of an office desk. That’s the real world. We’re in an exciting new electronic medium here. Let’s use new technology to work in a new world. Lose the Qwerty keyboard and references to files. This is electronic media. Voice inputs, multi-dimensional applications, 3D visuals and neural partition storage is the way to go. If you guys don’t come up with the quantum leap then I warn you, I will.

Finally, why do games recreate what we do in life? I agree with top class simulation programmes but let’s stretch the imagination and create wonderful new multi-dimensional worlds of true beauty – aurally and visually. Let’s not go mad on nasal simulation though. I fear this strand of technology may be abused!


Web

The Web Page of vinceunlimited – Home Spun Facts

Textedit extract from vinceunlimited html home web pageSample HTML coding for version 1.00

You have reached the web page of vinceunlimited. The details of the software used to create and uplift this webpage to the great World Wide Web and onto your screen.

As this is my first effort at designing and producing a web site I decided to keep it simple using a widely available programme which would produce a product that was readable on the majority of the world’s computers, using minimum facilities.

From the outset I decided that content was far more important than fancy graphics and fonts although I hope to improve the general look and content in future releases and when more users have faster internet access.

A standard look is vital in creating visual consistency and will aid the reader in remembering the site. And it saves me having to constantly invent styles.

If you like what you see, or can imagine what I could achieve with better facilities and want me to help you design your site – contact me. My services are available.

Website Creation Software

I have used a standard version of Microsoft FrontPage Express, version 2.0 . Although most has been code checked through HTML (ask your son). No other software was used. Does it show?

FTP

I use Smart FTP. Because it can be loaded free for private users. And I’m not loaded.

ISP

I use Freeserve as an Internet Service Provider. Free. So give them a big hand.

Web server – Where this is stored

I use Web-Mania as an Web Server provider. The price is reasonable so they come well recommended.

Website conceived, designed, produced, checked and sent to you, by Vince. So that’s me then.


Future Computer

Crystal ball time

Welcome to the future. Check out my computer specification of the future. My guess [in October 2003] for year 148AV (anno. vincy).

Desktop system

AOF-serve Brooklyn 2020, carbon fibre micro case with AMD (touchy) ZZR series 38.9THz quadbus bio-platform, still running through 56k Dos, on 93Gb TAM (total access memory) and 222Mb standard video RAM boosted with a 4D-VR 12Gb acceleration card giving graphics from a 6789 x 2212 screen utilising 32 million and one colours. They found another one! Hurrah!

Storage is a bio-neural vector imaging carbofile store with immeasurable capacity pseudo-hard drive utilising aluminium organospheres. Unfortunately, still no room for those video files. Outside access is via a 4649M video-modem through we-will-actually-pay-YOU-fifty-eurodollars-serve.com Still connecting at about 33k usually.

Software is Aircon, which is much better than Windows.

Audio is supplied through multi-phase ver. 6.947.34a displayed on a widescreen 73″ plasma projector SCD with Dolbyson Pro-logisense sensurround implant mini-speakers with built in giga-woofer (boooooooooooooooooooooooom!).

Watchtop

RolexPro Diamonte with Applechip processor and superlite mini-screen, glued to inside of contact lens. Thought activated inputs. Solar powered, with 11-month backup battery, developed by the Norwegians, unsurprisingly.

Printer

Still got my Canon Bubblejet, although I have now changed the ink cartridge.

Author: Vince Poynter

This is an extract from the vinceunlimited.co.uk/computer.htm web site Version 5.009 dated 19 Oct 2017
These details were first published in the first version of the vinceunlimited web site, Version 1.00 in Oct 2003
The images were added in Version 5.009 19 Oct 2017

Dead Centre

It’s logic Jim, but not as we know it.

Where can you find me? Only at the centre of the universe. That’s where.

It is a brave statement indeed to make a claim that I can be found at the centre of the universe. Even more foolhardy to state that I can prove it. But I am and I can.

Firstly you need to understand and accept the concept of infinity. It is quite easy this bit. Infinity in terms of distance is a very long way away, then a bit more. Kind of like further than that beer on the coffee table when you are slumped in front of the TV. Even further away than your chances of dating a Hollywood megastar, unless you are another Hollywood megastar of course. Or a film producer. Or a thousand dollar hooker of course. Anyway, you get the picture. Infinity is such a huge number that when applied to distances I wouldn’t like to drive it – Not without a comfort stop.

Now, if I were to move forward, as far as possible, to the edge of infinity it would take me…? Let’s see, about the same time as it would if I were to move backwards at the same rate to the edge of infinity. I shall call that time X. No, I won’t, I’ll call it Gerald, other people always call it X.

Anyway, in Gerald, travelling at a constant speed I could reach the edge of infinity from any direction I please. Infinity is the same distance, up, down, front, back or even sideways. Whether you are on a pushbike, in a sidecar or a space shuttle travelling at twenty six times the speed of Gerald.

If this is the case I must surely be right slap-bang in the centre – Of the Universe. Point proved.

Now, all I have to do is prove that I’m also immortal. That one could take some time.

Author: Vince Poynter
From the vinceunlimited.co.uk web site Version 5.008 dated dated 18 Oct 2017
Article first published in Version 1.00 in Oct 2003
The text is reproduced, unedited, as published in Oct 2003
The image depicts the author’s wife not being able to point out the centre of the universe [hint: It’s taking the photograph].  The image was added in Version 5.008 on 18 Oct 2017

Plea For A Bike

When I was a child and through to a teenager I, like most of my peers, had a desire to own a bicycle. It was like a right of passage. Part of life development. It seemed natural and ordinary. It represented growth, freedom and independence. It was after all the status symbol of a generation. A chance to explore wider boundaries and meet new friends.

Bicycles were certainly an expensive thing. In my world at the time it had serious financial implications for parents. As one of three children getting expensive gifts was an extremely rare thing. In those days toys were reserved for special occasions like Birthdays or Christmases and the cost of bikes were probably more than treble that were spent on those days combined.

Plus there was an element of danger. Children, bikes and traffic didn’t mix well with the former usually coming off worst.

It was for the above reason my father steadfastly refused to buy his children a bike. And of the three of us I was the most upset by this. Very upset. Extraordinarily upset. Boundary tantrum upset.

I reasoned that bicycle ownership would help me develop. I was a timid child, small compared to most school colleagues, a pacifist in an angry world, scared with insecurities about being considered part of it. I struggled to have close friends at school and was further alienated by being unable to be part of the cycling gangs developing. With no bike I appeared to be a loner. A loser.

It didn’t help that my circumstances took me away to a remote school at twelve years old and getting there was a pain. Bus rides, long walks and being miles from friends when socialising was unbearable. It is even probably the reason I never became a rock star.

I argued long and passionately about these points with my dad but he was unrepentant. I pointed out that I, more than other children, would treat riding with respect and care to avoid becoming the jam in a car sandwich. I reasoned that by restricting this activity he was cruel, stunting my development and curtailing any after school activities. I even offered to have nothing else if only I could have a bike. But to no effect. There was no way he’ll change his mind.

As a result of this I wrote a song. A duet, coupled with chorus elements served to suggest a West End musical style because that is exactly what it was intended to be. This passionate episode in my life was written to be part of a plan for a musical of my life that I was considering and working on in the 1980s. The lyrics were penned in 1989. The musical has yet to be completed.

The unedited original lyrics are reproduced in full in my website.  In the ‘Songs’ section click on the bit labelled ‘Bike’.  The link is vinceunlimited.co.uk/bike.htm or vinceunlimited.co.uk/bikem.htm if you are viewing this on a smartphone.

Despite the apparent complexity the song does not yet have any musical accompaniment. I will eventually get around to doing this but will first need to learn how to write music. This was a serious flaw in my plan to write that musical. So, can you help?

If the tune is great and it becomes a success I may buy you a bike. Providing you don’t bloody well go on about it all the time.

Author: Vince Poynter
This is an extract from the re-launched, hand coded vinceunlimited.co.uk web site Version 5.006 dated dated 16 Oct 2017 and is an explanation of a song originally written in 1989 and published in Version 1.00 in Oct 2003
The image depicts the author sat on one of his first bicycles.

Animal Parts As Spares

One of the big issues facing mankind today is the moral question of whether we should be allowed to grow animals purely for use as spare parts for humans. Technological advancement is reaching the point where soon we will be able to grow compatible human parts within live animals.

And in 2017 the UK issued plans to make organ donor presumed consent a thing. If we have to go to the trouble of opting out then so can the mammals. Unless they fill out a form on the internet.

Imagine, a man’s spare spleen, if you can, grown by a dog. Or a newborn baby’s amputated lower arm being re-grown by a monkey. Or an arse transplanted from a horse onto a woman (I’m sure I’ve seen her already).

The issue centres on whether it is moral to do this. I believe it may be immoral not to do it. I would argue that mankind is no more than a species, albeit a very successful one and one which we are lucky to be a part of. And like all other species humans have developed the best way to survive and prosper. Being able to harvest parts from other species is just another development in the clear superiority of humans. All species use the resources available to them and just as our food farming is a clever extension of this ability so is improving this to include repair of damaged or old body parts. It is a natural extension. Nature.

And who wouldn’t choose to live longer, providing the quality of their life through use of renewable, healthier parts was assured.

The only concerns I would personally have is to impose controls on the supply. I couldn’t accept that the system was open to be abused by undesirable people. And I’m not scaremongering about a dozen cloned dictators. That just couldn’t occur. No, I would worry about persistent drunks using surrogates to grow banks of spare livers. And I would have concerns about stinking smokers using animals to constantly transplant their lungs. Transplanting their brains might be a better idea.

My own view is that I would be happy for a pig to grow a heart for me, then for me to have it transplanted when mine is worn out. And I could enjoy a good bacon sandwich afterwards. Long live technology.

Author: Vince Poynter
From the vinceunlimited.co.uk web site Version 5.003 dated dated 6 Oct 2017
Article first published in Version 1.00 in Oct 2003
The text is reproduced, unedited, as published in Oct 2003
The image depicts the author in Gibraltar getting up close and personal with one of the famous Barbary Macaques.  The image was added in Version 5.003 on 6 Oct 2017

Launch Debugging

It wasn’t until I got my revamped web site all uploaded yesterday that I realised there were a few bugs, as I suppose there often are with projects of this scale.

The main problem encountered was my coding. All links were shown as [typical] /linkname but in the uploading process they were saved as /linkname.htm I quickly got around this problem by renaming them all via my FTP client back to /linkname This got the site up and running. A cheeky fix but it worked.

However, as I am a perfectionist at heart and I wanted ease of use in future uploads I decided to re-code all the pages, all 107 odd desktop and mobile, to suit.

I’m not sure what you did today.

Now, I shall start the actual process of updating my files so the site is properly fully populated.

To get the full site experience go to vinceunlimited.co.uk

vinceunlimited Version 5 Launched


Dan, dan, delah! Der, der, der, derrh! Tah Da! And however you might spell a drumroll. vinceunlimited.co.uk has roared into stage 5!

And it’s a return to the original vinceunlimited concept idea. I have gone back to basics and have elected, once more, to learn how to and then do all the web-coding myself. And appropriately, the latest standard for web coding is HTML 5. So I’ve had to learn a whole bunch of updated rules.

Plus to do this properly I also had to learn the associated coding for CSS and Javascript. If you are unsure what all this means basically the HTML bit handles the layout and words, the CSS stuff seperates out the colours and styles and the Javascript jibberish allows complex page selection such as the Random Page Selector button actions on each page.

My original vinceunlimited site, forseeingly known as version 1, was catipulted onto the main stage in October 2003. It was hand coded in a contemporaneous version of HTML.

Version 2, appeared on the internet in May 2005 with coding that took my site to the next level with a better layout, a sidebar and dual colours.

I always struggled with getting HTML coding to set and wrap around images and with image links and couldn’t find the time and way to code version three which was planned to look like the image but I was saved all this effort by the introduction of Apple’s colouful WYSIWYG iWeb App so this became the basis for actual version 3, in March 2010.

Are you paying attention to these dates? A quiz will follow.

But Apple had other ideas about keeping the iWeb pet project alive and I had to find another way to maintain my web prescence.

In 2012, July to be a bit more precise, with the development of FaceBook and Twitter, personal web-sites seemed to be going out of fashion. The era of the common blog had really started. And this bandwagon was truly seized upon when I clambered aboard this WordPress site, effectively making this the fourth version of vinceunlimited.co.uk

But WordPress is mostly about piggy-backing on other people’s hard worked designs and trying to disguise this plagiarism with a bit of personal customisation. I always found this awkward and unsatisfactory so decided to go back to first principles and code the thing again myself, hence version 5.

Have I bucked the trend? Am I just showing off? Or am I just avoiding the sheeple? These questions and less will be answered in the next few years.

For the full vinceunlimited story check out the Versions link at vinceunlimited.co.uk

Author: Vince Poynter
This is a copy of the first page added to the re-launched hand coded vinceunlimited.co.uk web site Version 5.0001 dated 30 Sep 2017.  You will have to visit the web page to enjoy the full experience
The image depicts the original design for vinceunlimited version 3, now the basis of Version 5.

Politics

Politics is big right now in the UK.  We have a General Election being served up soon, with something called Brexit as a dessert course later on.  So it may be perspicacious to re-read my thoughts from 2005.

Though not on Brexit as I didn’t foresee this in 2005.  Sorry.

All now published under Archive/Politics